This Is The First, and Possibly Only, Step to Accepting What IS

Home / Confidence / This Is The First, and Possibly Only, Step to Accepting What IS


“Loneliness is the poverty of self. Solitude is the richness of self.” ~May Sarton


solitudeThe answers are always in the stillness – especially for the introvert personality. That also means letting go of preconceived notions of how anything “should” be. I’m learning this lesson right now in a real way in my own life. 

Even when it regards pain or disappointment, we have to know that pain is exactly what is present in our experience right then and somehow accept it, without wishing for things to be different (the purest definition of suffering).

We have to let go of what “should be” to feel what is so we can enjoy what will be. What “will be” is the next moment(s), regardless of what we try to do to control them.

So what will be and what “should” be are two different things. 

Stillness allows this process of differentiating. All of the non-essentials for our progress are usually very loud.

So pay attention to what’s loud. It’s likely not essential in your life. 

For me, the way I arrive at what’s essential (what is) is by segmenting what is loud vs. what is deeply felt in the core of my being. This helps me know what my truth is. It brings me to “home” – the place that is right every time. The place I’m totally me.


So when it comes to you, your relationships, your work, your life or your business, what do you know in solitude that often gets over-powered?


Another way of asking it might be, what is essential for you today as things are, and how are you finding strength or courage to acknowledge and enjoy it?

I’d love to hear your point of view as always,


(Image Credit)


  • Shannon McArthur
    July 22, 2014, 10:13 am  Reply

    Your words are very powerful and I am with you on almost everything. I must speak against the not wishing for things to be different. While acceptance of what IS is important, submitting to the concept of continuing misery is gut-wringing. It is the desire to escape the IS that creates most of the growth and progress of our species. It is what gets us out of bed in the morning and giving it all one more go! It is hope!
    I hope you will continue writing your inspiring words – I love to read them!

    • July 22, 2014, 11:31 am

      Thank you for expressing yourself here, Shannon. I think there is a fine line between healthy hope (goals & dreams, knowledge that change is a constant, etc.) and constantly striving for things we simply cannot change to be different (working ourselves to death over something we can’t change, trying to change others, pushing against what’s happening now that exists to be part of our growth).

      I’m definitely hearing you, and I appreciate your voice here!

  • Madalena Pedro Miala
    July 22, 2014, 2:37 pm  Reply

    Waw, your words are as Shannon said, very powerful. I too am a single gal, been so for seven years now. I’m now just starting to accept what is, for the longest time I just felt that I was in a transitional phase and that my ‘real life’ still had to start when in fact it had already started. I try not to dwell on it too much and just spend time with friends, when I can’t, I spend time discovering ME. How can I ever fall in love (=get to KNOW someone else) if I won’t even do the same for me?

    • July 22, 2014, 3:33 pm

      Love that perspective, Madalena! The best approach to take as a single gal.

Leave a Comment