The One Question We Can Ask About Our Longings…

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LongingsL O N G I N G S

“A strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant.” (dictionary.com)

yeah? what about em’?


For many of us, our lives have been shaped by longings – wanting something so badly & feeling like it’s absolutely never going to happen. 

And many times, deep longings are really connected at the root to a bit of a drought in full self-acceptance of who we are. Sometimes we just need more of an emotional balance.

Longings can be good and bad – but often, they create an extremely LOUD negative self-talk that in turn, makes us sway with every possibility – we just wanna be centered & fixed, but damn those longings.

So question for you…

Do you think the goal should be to obtain more of the emotional balance we crave, increase our self-acceptance of ourselves and thus, let go of the longings we feel so deeply?

In other words, is letting go the goal?

I can’t wait to hear your brilliance in the comments. Talk soon,

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  • December 8, 2013, 4:38 pm  Reply

    Yes, Tamisha- I agree that self-acceptance is key. Not only self-acceptance, but also gratitude and an acceptance of where we are at any point in time. An acceptance that it’s OK to be where we are, even if iwe would ideally be somewhere else. And a knowledge that now is the right time and the right place always. The more we are able to focus on feeling gratitude for the here and now, the less we feel inclined to long for things to be different. 🙂

    • December 8, 2013, 6:06 pm

      Thanks for weighing in here, Julia. I love how you said The more we are able to focus on feeling gratitude for the here and now, the less we feel inclined to long for things to be different..

      I know for many of us, that gratitude thing is sometimes difficult. It is for me at times. For me personally, this is what it’s become about – cultivating gratitude – I literally LOOK for ways to be more thankful when I’m feeling longings pop up.

  • Miriam Phillips
    December 10, 2013, 10:11 am  Reply


    Whereas Julia focused in on your comments regarding self-acceptance, I found myself going back time and time again to the line, “For many of us, our lives have been shaped by longings…” and egads did I need to reflect on this today! I cannot count how many times I’ve utterd the words, “I want this” or “I wish I had that” in the past weeks. And yet I **know** and **believe** that want-desire-longing is the root of all human suffering. We wish for things, experiences, people, posessions, and we suffer when we don’t get them. And even if we do achieve/get them, there is more to be longed for, more to crave, more to attain. Want can be our addiction…more, more, more…need, need, need…gimme, gimme, gimme…

    For me the reframe is to breath deep and be grateful and mindful of what I do have. The people I have in my life who accept me for who and what I am. The healthly lifestyle and body I’ve commited to. The safe surroundings I was born into. The longings are, as you say, LOUD and intrusive to the enjoyment of what is.

    It’s been that kind of day – LOUD in my head – and it makes my introvert self so very cranky to have days start like this 😉 Thanks for the reminder that to find the stillness I crave, I just need to stop shouting and be still.


    • December 10, 2013, 11:37 am

      Wow, Miriam – you said it here. Probably my favorite line: Want can be our addiction…. Something we all definitely have struggled with, at one time or another, if we’re honest. Getting rid of that “loud” can sometimes feel futile, too. For me it does. Sometimes when I find I’m in a “longing” rut, I start writing in my journal to get it all out. That has proven to help me a lot – I just started doing that this year. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.

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