My favorite new YouTuber as of late is a guy named Mat Boggs. He wrote the very popular book, Cracking the Man Code, released by Simon & Schuster.
His YouTube channel has definitely won my attention, which is hard to do, and I greatly enjoy learning from him. If you’re a modern woman looking to manifest a new relationship or better one, I advise you to look to Mat to understand the male mind. He’s phenomenal and explains his concepts in terms you can better understand.
Hold on for the ride because you will learn – a LOT.
Recently, while watching one of his videos, I noticed he actually requests for single women to sit in a seat of gratitude if a guy goes ghost or pulls the vanishing act on you (if you’re single in today’s society, this has, at the very least, happened to you once, no doubt)!
He goes in depth to further explain why he believes this is necessary. He develops the thought that if we allow ourselves to go into an area of resentment, we will just get and call in (subconsciously, might I add) more situations or scenarios to resent.
So simple. So true.
But seriously……so simple!
I just kept coming back to how simple this is. It’s a basic spiritual concept we miss though. Some may call it karma – others, reaping what you sow. However, this concept is a little less about karma and more about energy. I’ll explain soon.
I also recently listened to one of my favorite women & teachers on the planet, Marianne Williamson, on Gina Devee’s podcast (episode #104), talk about the law of divine compensation and how we can’t constantly say we want to earn more money in our lives, but walk around secretly hating on people who make more money than us, have more to spend, etc.
It’s a sabotage of blessing that we ourselves cause when we engage with that type of behavior. The universe doesn’t know what to do with that. Do you want it or don’t you? No one likes mixed messages – especially not what’s waiting at the door for you.
Taking all of that in recently is the background to, and what birthed, this post.
I want to expound on 3 areas where you could secretly be sabotaging your own purpose and success and the law of energy exchange.
What This Has to Do With Your Purposeful Expression
First & foremost? Everything.
Energy exchange has everything to do with how you manifest what you truly want in your life. It dictates what you call in, how it shows up, and how you set the expectation for how others will treat you and look to you.
You hold all the cards, and it doesn’t have to be a house of cards. But you are deciding that by how you live.
Basically, the law of energy exchange is pretty simple. Whatever you’re protruding – is coming out of your mouth, is how you behave, what you think and never tell anyone, and maybe even childhood belief systems embedded into you – is what you’re simultaneously calling in also.
I talked about this concept in my 15 Reasons Emotionally Health Men Love Assertive Women post too, specific to women who hate on other attractive women.
Whatever you are putting out into the universe is coming back in some form. Even other things like anger, inauthenticity in something you say or how you live, or hidden agendas you aren’t telling anyone are coming back to you in some form or another – if I asked you how and you thought about it, I bet you can name the ways.
If what you and I are putting out there is negative or sabotaging in any way, we’ll also reap negative experiences and sabotage.
So essentially, energy is going out with some message, and it’s returning with the SAME message, but usually stronger.
Surely, we have to know we can’t put out one message and expect a different message in return then, right?
Let’s talk about the first way we can send out new messages. Gratitude.
Gratitude vs. Resentment
The first huge way you could be putting out false energy is in this area of gratefulness.
I’ll preface this by saying we’re all human, and we’re not ever going to do this 100% right or perfect – it’s unrealistic to expect that level of commitment from ourselves. But what we can do is have more awareness to catch it when it’s happening and perhaps back out a bit faster from such self-sabotaging behavior.
If we want more situations to be grateful for, gratitude is the seed that must be sown. If we project resentment about something, resentment will return OR keeping coming around until we see it for what it is and then engage with it to work out and communicate what’s there (the internal work).
Sometimes, what we’re extending is returned in a relationship.
Sometimes, it comes back in the form of work – we start to resent what we do somehow and we don’t understand why. Sometimes, it returns in the form of something from our past or how someone else is treating us.
When we sit in gratitude of what we have, the present moment (albeit as chaotic as it may be), and our current situations, we are calling IN more grateful situations into our lives. And they’ll come, every time.
Gratitude begets gratefulness; Resentment bitterness.
And when we are constantly receiving resentment, we of course grow more bitter and call in more resentful circumstances. The energy exchange is also a hub and a system – it works in cycles just like the moon, and it happens regardless of whether believe in it or not. It’s a law that operates; belief not required. Whether we believe in it or not doesn’t stop it from happening.
To be honest, I’ve tried gratitude journaling, and I’m not good at it. Not that I’m bad at being grateful, I’m bad at keeping up with documenting it. As an introvert, most of what I know stays in my brain and is somehow filed there.
So, my advice to you if this is you too is to cultivate gratitude when it matters most – here’s what I mean…
I do this when I’m in line at a grocery store for 5 hours (okay, that’s a little overboard), or when I hear a screaming child and their parent is just looking at them with a blank stare saying nothing, or when I’m sitting in rush hour traffic. These are the times I enter this mode – sometimes I’m good at it – other times, I fail miserably.
I’m getting better. My point for us is to cultivate it in the moments when it would be the absolute easiest to choose another emotion or reaction.
So how does this resonate with you?
I’d love to know what is most difficult for you when it comes to gratitude or what moment(s) you find it hardest. Please leave me a comment & let me know.
I’ll be back with Part 2 & 3 soon – thank you so much for reading & being here.
All my appreciation,
Photography by Andreas Ortner