Slay, to me, is another buzz word that was introduced into the modern lexicon to describe a person who “kills it”. I like the term, to be honest.
But what exactly does that mean? In Modernity terms anyway? And for the woman we so deeply love & connect to here?
First of all, you can all thank my Mother for inspiring this post. Lately, I haven’t seemed to be able to write. It literally is like writing constipation for me lately. I don’t understand why I can’t think of things to write, but I think I have an idea. That usually happens when there’s a transformation happening that I can’t really see, either personally or in my business. I can feel it, but I don’t see it physically.
When that happens, writing has to be inspired. The topics usually come from someone, something, or some circumstance, and that happened today.
I had never heard my Mom use the term “slay”, but she did on Facebook on one of my photos. It both made me laugh and I was proud! 🙂 I mean, I can’t even apologize – a 50-something woman using the word slay makes me so happy! So much so that I texted her and gave her props.
Then the truth came out – she got the word from a Torrid Fashion ad they are currently running! [Insert laugh/cry emoji here].
She was able to put two and two together to know what “slay” means and wanted to use it – and DID – WITH a hashtag! Again…..proud and laugh out loud. 🙂
As I thought about it a little bit ago, it made me think, “what exactly does “slay” mean anyway?” “How can or should I define this for the women I speak to on a regular basis?”
“Do we all slay?”
To be honest, “slay” to me is pretty basic to describe and no, not every woman out there is doing it:
- A woman who works her ass off and isn’t afraid to – however she defines it. Motherhood, housewife, volunteer work, the board room, management, full-time, part-time, a man’s work, you name it. She works.
- A woman who has her crap together. For real. She knows what’s in her bank account, works hard, loves hard, and is a resource to all around her. She’s not lazy.
- A woman who serves, loves and gives. She’s no one’s doormat, but she’s sacrificial and loving to a select few. And I mean few. Because most people take advantage of her giving spirit.
- A woman who dresses true to herself & expresses herself. She doesn’t have to be a fashionista – NOPE. She just dresses herself the way she feels comfortable, whether it’s in 5-inch heels or Tory Burch flats, she knows what looks & feels good on her body and rocks it the eff out.
- A woman who explores her own questions and self-awareness. Awareness is hot around here – sexy, if you will. To us, a woman who slays is a woman who knows herself intimately. To be honest, they’re few and far between. Why? Because it takes work & dedication to know and learn yourself. It also takes an immense amount of courage to be completely honest enough to even explore and answer your own fears, desires, and thoughts. A lot of women aren’t like you – they think they have self-awareness when it’s really only self-observation. They’re simply observing what they see and “approving” of it instead of inquiring about it and exploring the motivations behind it, so the approval has merit. There can be no self-awareness without inquiry.
You might notice some things I didn’t assign to the term:
- How much money a woman has, makes, or is given by someone else. (Because that’s way too surface-level for the modernity woman)
- Materialistic possessions or belongings (for the same reason)
- What position she has at her job – because there could be many reasons she’s there that aren’t necessarily always because it was earned. I’ve learned this one the hard way throughout my career.
- Who she knows or “associates” with; her network.
These things are all “nice-to-haves”, but they neither explain or define a woman’s worth. Money can come from many sources, so it’s always in question. Possessions are temporary. Positions can be gotten many ways these days – and not always actually earned thanks to business politics. (Can I get an
amen? Ugh)? And just because a woman hangs out with influencers doesn’t make her one. People like people for a lot of reasons.
So “slay” is a term we define here as the internal honesty and development of a woman’s confidence manifested externally through her own genuine expressions, causing her to attract the right relationships & opportunities for growth & expansion.
That’s right, my dear. You have your own personal slay factor. Who knew?
Question for you: How do YOU slay every day? Leave me a comment & let me know. 🙂
Photography by David Roemer; Model is Achok Majak for UK Marie Claire, September 2016