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So What Does It Really Mean to “Slay”?

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Slay, to me, is another buzz word that was introduced into the modern lexicon to describe a person who “kills it”. I like the term, to be honest.

But what exactly does that mean? In Modernity terms anyway? And for the woman we so deeply love & connect to here?

First of all, you can all thank my Mother for inspiring this post. Lately, I haven’t seemed to be able to write. It literally is like writing constipation for me lately. I don’t understand why I can’t think of things to write, but I think I have an idea. That usually happens when there’s a transformation happening that I can’t really see, either personally or in my business. I can feel it, but I don’t see it physically.

When that happens, writing has to be inspired. The topics usually come from someone, something, or some circumstance, and that happened today.

I had never heard my Mom use the term “slay”, but she did on Facebook on one of my photos. It both made me laugh and I was proud! 🙂 I mean, I can’t even apologize – a 50-something woman using the word slay makes me so happy! So much so that I texted her and gave her props.

Then the truth came out – she got the word from a Torrid Fashion ad they are currently running! [Insert laugh/cry emoji here].

She was able to put two and two together to know what “slay” means and wanted to use it – and DID – WITH a hashtag! Again…..proud and laugh out loud. 🙂

As I thought about it a little bit ago, it made me think, “what exactly does “slay” mean anyway?” “How can or should I define this for the women I speak to on a regular basis?”

“Do we all slay?”

To be honest, “slay” to me is pretty basic to describe and no, not every woman out there is doing it:

  • A woman who works her ass off and isn’t afraid to – however she defines it. Motherhood, housewife, volunteer work, the board room, management, full-time, part-time, a man’s work, you name it. She works.
  • A woman who has her crap together. For real. She knows what’s in her bank account, works hard, loves hard, and is a resource to all around her. She’s not lazy.
  • A woman who serves, loves and gives. She’s no one’s doormat, but she’s sacrificial and loving to a select few. And I mean few. Because most people take advantage of her giving spirit.
  • A woman who dresses true to herself & expresses herself. She doesn’t have to be a fashionista – NOPE. She just dresses herself the way she feels comfortable, whether it’s in 5-inch heels or Tory Burch flats, she knows what looks & feels good on her body and rocks it the eff out.
  • A woman who explores her own questions and self-awareness. Awareness is hot around here – sexy, if you will. To us, a woman who slays is a woman who knows herself intimately. To be honest, they’re few and far between. Why? Because it takes work & dedication to know and learn yourself. It also takes an immense amount of courage to be completely honest enough to even explore and answer your own fears, desires, and thoughts. A lot of women aren’t like you – they think they have self-awareness when it’s really only self-observation. They’re simply observing what they see and “approving” of it instead of inquiring about it and exploring the motivations behind it, so the approval has merit. There can be no self-awareness without inquiry

You might notice some things I didn’t assign to the term:

  1. How much money a woman has, makes, or is given by someone else. (Because that’s way too surface-level for the modernity woman)
  2. Materialistic possessions or belongings (for the same reason)
  3. What position she has at her job – because there could be many reasons she’s there that aren’t necessarily always because it was earned. I’ve learned this one the hard way throughout my career.
  4. Who she knows or “associates” with; her network.

These things are all “nice-to-haves”, but they neither explain or define a woman’s worth. Money can come from many sources, so it’s always in question. Possessions are temporary. Positions can be gotten many ways these days – and not always actually earned thanks to business politics. (Can I get an amen? Ugh)? And just because a woman hangs out with influencers doesn’t make her one. People like people for a lot of reasons.

So “slay” is a term we define here as the internal honesty and development of a woman’s confidence manifested externally through her own genuine expressions, causing her to attract the right relationships & opportunities for growth & expansion.

That’s right, my dear. You have your own personal slay factor. Who knew? 

Question for you: How do YOU slay every day? Leave me a comment & let me know. 🙂

Tamisha

 

 

Photography by David Roemer; Model is Achok Majak for UK Marie Claire, September 2016

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