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[Podcast Ep. 13]: How To Deal With Catty, Competitive, Insecure, Immature & Or Jealous Women

Home / The Modern Woman Podcast / [Podcast Ep. 13]: How To Deal With Catty, Competitive, Insecure, Immature & Or Jealous Women

Whoa. That’s a lot of adjectives (in the title)!

And if you’re a woman, you’ve dealt with all of them. You’ve seen it in your family circle, at work, and even with that woman you just met 5 minutes ago who doesn’t know you at all – she hasn’t even given you the chance to be a person of meaning because she’s already assessed you and assigned you a status in her mind.

Distinction: There’s a difference in assessing someone based on a behavior you just saw them exhibit that you consider rude or offensive vs. just simply assessing her on how she’s dressed or physical features only. If you’re going to assess someone, make sure it’s informed. Often, this can’t be done in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone UNLESS you’re a highly sensitive person, intuitive, or you’ve just seen them exhibit a behavior that shows you how they operate.

Don’t think I don’t know exactly what we do!!

In my opinion, it’s basically an epidemic how women are treating each other in this society. My work is to teach my heart out until I see it stop. We can train in leadership all day, talk about our work, and the like, but until we allow true unity to enter our hearts about other women on a human level, we’ll endure strife, stress and tension in all of our settings with other females.

Every environment you enter has its own energy plus the energy you bring to it. It’s an equation of opportunity that you play an intricate role in establishing as a woman. We’re the nurturers of life, the mothers of children, the birth places of life. And so it is with our spirits also.

We hold immense capability and power to transform, lead, and shape the energy of every single environment we choose to be in.

I still DAILY not only experience but watch how some women treat other women and it sickens me to my core how they can be all those adjectives I used in the title of this podcast and then some with another woman who does NOT deserve to be treated that way. It’s utterly repulsive.

Likewise, I see women who are gracious, give space for another woman to be 100% herself, and though another female may be quite different from her, there’s a consciousness about how the relationship and energy is approached. There’s mutual respect, generosity, and support.

THIS is what we need more of.

If that true, how and why are we NOT cultivating it though? Why do women continue to feel threatened by another woman who might appear to have more than her?

In today’s episode, I’m unpacking it for you once and for all.

Learn and hear the #1 reason why and how this is happening and what needs to happen to transform this mindset and approach.

So how DO we transform how women treat each other?

Valid question in our society, and not every woman cares to address this within themselves.

But it’s needed and necessary.

It starts with conscious confidence and awareness. It moves to conscious decision. And finally manifests in behavior.

1

We have to start by understanding that when a woman acts a certain way toward us, there’s something going on with her beneath the surface that we cannot see. This is important to learn:

A jealous woman is fighting insecurity.

A catty woman is likely not dealing with a deeper root issue in her life. 

A competitive woman might feel insecure or like she’s not enough, so she has to over-compensate.

An immature woman may have never been taught how to maturely approach another female or maybe has never had it modeled for her by a mature female in her sphere.

An insecure woman may not yet understand what true confidence looks like.

What am I ultimately saying?

It’s never about what it’s about.

When people act out in certain ways that are unhealthy, there’s something going on under the surface.

As the woman on the receiving end of all of these in my life and even currently, I can tell you that you will rise above that behavior and be triumphant in your spirit every time over these types of energies – just for the mere fact that you are educated about and understand what is happening.

You may not know the exact issue that woman is dealing with, but you will be able to decipher why she’s treating you the way she is.

Intermission

Before we move on, I need you to understand you are not required to like everyone. Some women you’re just not going to like.

What I’m trying to teach us though, is to not allow that if you haven’t even met her or shook her hand or heard her story OR given her the chance to show you who she is.

And another important point: Just because your girlfriend(s) don’t like someone, don’t be immature and a follower and just “go with what they say about her”. That is not only immature, it’s not leadership. Be your own woman. Form your own opinions. Assess for yourself. I understand if you’ve been friends for a woman for 10 or 15 years and you trust her. You don’t have to give that up. But give each person YOU come in contact with a chance. We’re all human, all fallible, and all have our preferences. Just because I’ve been friends with a woman for 10 years and she doesn’t like someone doesn’t require me to ALSO not like her. If I immediately take her word for someone, I’m following not leading. 

2

So once we come into an education and consciousness about other women who are treating us “some type of way” and we recognize it, what do we do then?

I had this conversation with a woman I know the other day. I gave her my perspective and how I’m dealing with this even RIGHT NOW in my own life.

She said to me, “Tamisha – you’re a better woman than me. I would NOT be able to take that approach.”

The truth is – yes, she can. And yes, you can. It’s about a maturity and understanding about life and how life works as well as a bit of understanding in the spiritual realm about what happens behind the scenes when women treat you badly.

Here’s some tips to consider:

  • Understand it’s never about what it’s about (which we discussed already)
  • Know that karma is a REAL thing that REALLY works and happens
  • Understand how the ego works and that it wants to separate
  • Assess your own role in the equation and how you are handling it
  • Let time and patience show you how life operates in your favor
  • Don’t react to negative energy or sabotage
  • Continue to exhibit kindness and maturity in the face of childish behavior
  • Watch transformation occur naturally

Has this episode helped you? What can you incorporate from today’s episode to start stepping up as a woman to foster unity and not separation in our communities?

Let me know in the comments and thank you SO much for listening! You know I’m here for you and all of us.

Tamisha

Photo by Ming Nomchong

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