A modern woman’s spirit is the most important thing that can be cultivated – over and above her body and beauty.
The core of Modernity exists to develop and elevate a modern woman’s life, style, & overall confidence via a spiritual perspective. That’s really what we do here.
I’m here to help us develop way beyond the surface level most people are used to or comfortable with.
Confidence, after all, isn’t just external. It’s internally developed and externally expressed.
I don’t take the personal quest to increase our confidence in a conscious way lightly at all.
So when I see or hear something that I can use to encourage or teach with, I utilize it to the fullest.
Sometimes it comes by way of conversations. Sometimes by television, books, or other media. Often, it’s through random text messages, emails, or short mentions that have way more depth than the person I’m talking to realizes in that moment.
However it comes, when something grabs my attention, as a teacher it’s my duty to share it.
So I wanted to share these 8 things with you today that I believe we need to watch for in our spirits – especially in modern times. Without consciousness about these, things can creep in like depression, jealousy, anger, ungratefulness, and a whole host of other struggles that aren’t meant to linger.
I received these in a text recently in a different format and tweaked it for our audience here. Any and everything that can affect our confidence needs to be addressed – your spirit and soul is no exception. In fact, it’s the rule.
So here are the 8 things modern women like us need to watch for:
- When prayer becomes difficult
- When materialism (how things look) takes precedence over inner knowing
- When you dilute your faith to have someone else’s acceptance
- When religion trumps true seeking
- When you no longer desire or are interested in spiritual seeking
- When time spent on social media channels overtakes time spent reflecting & synthesizing
- When someone else can more easily influence what you hear in your own spirit
- When temptations that are more appealing are more desirable to you than personal progression
When prayer becomes difficult
This isn’t a judgment. It happens to all of us. Sometimes you just don’t feel like praying. Or maybe prayer and meditation isn’t something you’re used to. This one is for those of us who pray consistently, but all of a sudden realize we’re not doing it as much or don’t even desire to. This will affect how you feel about yourself, so it’s important to notice if it’s happening. If this happens, I start at the root of it: Why don’t I want to pray? When did I start not wanting to? What’s beneath that? I gently guide myself with compassion to discover the truth and be honest about it. I ask God to help me see what is blocking me, and I don’t judge myself for having this moment.
When materialism (how things look) takes precedence over inner knowing
This one is easy to fall into in our society because we’re surrounded by brand names, luxurious enticements, and social contexts that beckon the dreamer in us. I think it’s normal to have goals and even normal to pursue them, but when desiring a certain status or materialistic appearance takes space over an inner knowing and peace in your life, it could be affecting how you feel about yourself and your spiritual peace. The very thing that is desired can also be the cause of unrest.
When you dilute your faith to have someone else’s acceptance
Have you ever drank watered-down tea? Or what about coffee? To that I say “garossssss”!
No one wants anything watered down, and whether they’ll tell you or not, no one wants you diluted either. When something is diluted, it’s not in full strength. It cannot deliver the taste level it should or the experience that’s desired from who wants or needs it.
When you dilute who you are or what your spirit desires to express in order to obtain the approval of another, love (God) is not glorified.
When religion trumps true seeking
I don’t have a problem with organized religion per se. I grew up a pastor’s kid, and I’ve been a church-goer my whole life. I love going to church. But the moment I recognized in my own life that the “routine” of it was overtaking my true authentic seeking and hearing (which DID happen to me), I had to re-enter into inquiry with myself about what really mattered here – the relationship with God or the religious “acts” of it all. And if tomorrow, every church building in the nation became unlawful to attend or God forbid burned down, no one can take the relationship. If we can’t cultivate the relationship with Love itself concurrent with fulfilling religious duties that might be important to us (like going to church or meditating frequently), we’ll feel unbalanced and confused and thus, not very confident about our level of giving and service in the world.
Our spiritual “routines” are good for us and maybe even necessary. But not at the cost of letting that take over looking in the mirror and being really really real about what we see.
When you no longer desire or are interested in spiritual seeking
I’ve noticed this can happen when I don’t get something I want or I feel mad at God for something that has happened in my life. I always come back to the truth on those things in my seeking, but initially I might feel disconnected from desiring anything spiritual during that time. I might withdraw spiritually. If you encounter this, just notice it and again, deal with yourself the way you would someone else – with compassion.
I’m not a proponent of yelling at yourself inwardly or silently judging yourself for being human. There’s nothing that will destroy confidence quicker than that self-judgment approach.
One of my favorite spiritual teachers to read about is Jesus and stories of how he dealt with needing to get away and retreat. Story after story reveals that he chose repeatedly to withdraw for days and months at a time, but the key is that he withdrew from people and society when He needed to, not away from the Source. This sets the example to withdraw to Source and not away from it – our withdrawal needs to be from all the other distractions the world offers us when this happens. Anything less than that is out of order.
When time spent on social media channels overtakes time spent reflecting & synthesizing
It’s no secret I love Instagram. I spend more time on Instagram than any other social media channel, writing, or even TV because I’m a strategist. I’m growing my brand and awareness a specific way using Instagram and not any other channel as much. Still yet, Modernity’s largest presence and platform resides on Pinterest, however. I spend a lot of time there as well. Modernity does not have a Facebook page and Google Plus is strictly for sharing my new posts at this point. I just don’t have the energy to be everywhere all of the time. I have a marketing strategy for how I use these channels without having to be on all of them all of the time.
However, sometimes I have to disconnect. It’s the only way I can be inspired consistently. If I notice I’m spending way too much time on it, I’ll take a day or two off (or a week, even). It’s interesting that every time I do that, I still gain new followers and growth continues. When you do marketing correctly, you actually don’t have to be plugged in all the time – that’s the point of modern marketing.
Reflection and synthesizing my day and week is important to me, and I think we have to pay attention to how much time we’re spending with distractions.
To each his own – this is a personal conviction, but if you notice you’re not centered, this might be something to look at.
When someone else can more easily influence what you hear in your own spirit
I’m a firm believer in sharing what you’re going through spiritually with others. In the past week alone, I’ve had dinner with a friend, lunch with another, and dinner scheduled tonight with another. These are people I trust with what’s happening deep in my spirit and my world. They’re my spiritual sisters. I share deep things with them I don’t share with anyone else. The real stuff that, when I look myself in the mirror, I see it and am trying to transform it. That’s a very vulnerable state to be in because it’s real and often, not the prettiest.
However, there’s a difference between spiritual sharing and spiritual manipulation.
Understand that it’s another person’s role to hold space for you, share with you what might’ve been revealed to them for you in prayer, then let you proceed and decide how or what that looks like in your own life. Anything more than that – them trying to control your behavior, telling you how to feel after the fact, or manipulating you to do or act a certain way is spiritual manipulation.
My undergraduate degree is in Education. And just like the knowing that a classroom full of students should have autonomous methods of learning available to them in order to arrive at the same destination of understanding, I believe it’s important for us to lean into what we know inwardly; not feel like we have to do or act in a certain way because someone else is causing us to feel that way.
When temptations that are appealing are more desirable to you than personal progression
Basically, it’s important to pay attention to if or when you’re giving in to temporary “feel goods” more than your own personal or spiritual growth.
This post is not meant to degrade or make us feel like we can’t be human in any way. It’s a call to what we can watch for in our modern society, as we try to be the best versions of ourselves. It helps to have measures to guide us and road markers to let us know when we get lost.
I hope this post is that for you as much as it was for me.
Hugs & happy Fall to you,
PS – let me know which one of these resonates the most for you and why. 🙂
David Roemer for Marie Claire UK, September 2016