[Video]: The Mind During Conversation


Yesterday, I stumbled upon a new web series on YouTube called Affectio by creators, Emma Koenig & David Seger.

I was drawn by it because of the content. It speaks the real truth about what goes on in our emotions in so many different scenarios, it's downright scary. The one I'm showing you today however, deals with the real-ness of conversation and emotion.

I love it when someone has taken the time to actually creatively portray and express what another human being feels - what ALL human beings feel.

I don't know about you, but I get frustrated with people who deny what actually goes on when suffering or self-awareness is occurring. It's not a happy dance, most of the time. However awkward or painful-feeling these emotions may be however, I do feel it's an important part of self-expression to converse.

And it's even more important for us to be truthful about what goes on in our own minds when we're going through something, whether we're talking about it or not.

Conversation is how you and I connect with each other - with other human beings. Conversation lends itself to making friends, serendipitous discoveries, meeting our significant others, and finding new business partners.

Without conversation, none of this happens - introvert or not.

For me personally, as an introvert, many of the emotions you see in today's video happen, but even more than are mentioned. For instance, do you experience any of these thought processes too?:

  • Is this person speaking from their ego or are they genuinely conveying true emotions or feelings? Ego is so much easier to default to, but it's also a turn-off, regardless of the sex of the person.  I can tell within 5 minutes if I want to connect to a person by this one thing.
  • Are they genuinely interested in forging a connection w/ me or are they solely focused on their day, their issue, their emotion, and their need to get their thoughts out or what I can give them at that time? My intuitionis in over-drive.
  • Does 'person A' realize they didn't even ask me if I was busy or available to talk or for how long when they called?
  • "I wonder how much I should divulge - what if I've already said too much?"

These are just some of the other commentaries running through MY mind during a conversation with someone that I just sometimes can't seem to turn off.

And let me just say....just because you and I aren't perfect communicators or admit we have this monologue going on, doesn't mean we aren't present in the moment - it means we probably aren't, and we could likewise make some improvements.

After all, the chances you and I are fully present in a conversation while all these thoughts are going on are pretty slim.

Pay attention to the :55 second mark for the mood and 'feel' of the convo to change - notice what she just mentioned that triggered the change in atmosphere...

This video is a true portrayal of what just one conversation can be like for an introvert. And yes, it can be exhausting! Did you notice that once she mentioned 'self' as a topic during the convo, the whole mood of the video changed?

That's because self-awareness in and of itself is a paradox. Of course we want to be more aware of the things we're doing wrong, could do better, or need to be addressed. But sometimes it gets old too - sometimes just plain ole' support is what's needed - whether from ourselves or those we love.

Sometimes.....  self-awareness can feel like a beat-up session.

If you're a words expressive it can be a double-edged sword - you might be a person who loves words in the form of conversation, and prefers them that way, or you might be one who would rather it be quiet everywhere and prefers them on paper only.

The expression of conversation and its many forms can look very different for each person. 

Questions for you:

  • What is ONE thing in this video you MOST identify with she mentions that hit home for you in a huge way and how?
  • What is one thing I mentioned that most resonates with you and what is a concrete example you can think of?

I'd love to hear from you on this one today and, as always, I appreciate your insights, thoughts, & suggestions as they help others know they're not alone.

Thank you for being a part of my life and this community...


Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash