Modern Women: How To Be Rooted But Flow


So I've been on another bit of a writing hiatus. It would seem that I now go through this every few months - I'm rooted then I flow.

I'm getting more and more comfortable with the reality of it since I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person or empath, if you prefer that term) and introvert.

Knowing this about myself, I know there will be days, weeks or sometimes months that go by where I have nothing - no motivation, no thoughts about what to create, passing and very fleeting energy, and sometimes even exhaustion. 

In those times, the most I seem to be able to do is work, exercise, cook, eat, do enough social media to stay visible, and sleep - even very little socializing. Writing is nowhere in the cards during these times - it's dry and distant. 

I consistently feel guilty during those times for not showing up as much as I know people need me to, not writing enough content, and not being "consistent" enough. I know the rules, so I should be following them.

But the truth is - I've had to learn that because of how I'm wired internally, the rules often have to be modified externally. Because of who I am by nature - slow to create, introspective, in need of plenty of sleep, and empathic - I need way more rest, relaxation and quiet, alone time than most people.

So here I sit, finally writing after weeks of having no motivation to do so - it's really nothing new for me. But I'd like to get to where I embrace these times more and am less judgmental toward myself for the quiet days. I'm still not there yet. I give myself a hard time and a "talkin' to" when I don't write - it's almost like my own little personalized and twisted, messed up version of self-discipline. Really, it's just self-criticism sneaking up trying to hold me accountable. Every day, there's this little voice in my head chastising me for not showing up as I should.

All things considered, I'm getting better with the evil head voice, softer with myself and wiser. I'm now accepting columnists for the site as well as guest writers, and I have become okay with gaps in my writing inspiration. All of this allows me to take the time I need when I need it and know that, if marketing is done well, it works for me while I rest.

And it does. It's amazing how I continue to gain subscribers, get comments, followers, and emails from people listening to my podcasts even when I'm a bit "MIA". I love it. It proves the power of setting up a system that's authentic to you and works for your lifestyle yet is efficient enough to continue to bring results to the work.

In the humble and poetic-like words of Virginia Woolf, "I am rooted, but I flow."

I am rooted. But I flow. 

I am rooted.

But I flow.

I saw this Pin the other day while on Pinterest with this quote on it and it not only caught but held my attention.

My first and most powerful thought came immediately. "This is SO me, and I know exactly what it means."

My next thought was, "There's so many of us who could stand to really understand what this means for us individually - what power." 

I even repinned it, left a headline that I might write about it, and here I am doing so 2 days later. I couldn't help but think there's some things I could share about how powerful this quote is and what it can mean for us - it can mean something very different for one person than it does another.

I'll share with you what it means for me, but I can't tell you what it means indefinitely or for you. It's an easy statement, but heavy with meaning. No one can tell you how it applies to you.

Important to know though.....

  • We all have paradoxes in our life - those things we want or desire in equal intensity that call us to make choices that are difficult.
  • By sheer nature of being human beings, we also all have some areas where we want or desire things that are either a) not good for us, b) not "allowed" by some standard we have for ourself, or c) flat out rebellious.

In any of these cases, this causes the human experience. We're consistenly grappling with some decision or opposing thoughts or desires in some way. As such, this quote applies to you - but I can't tell you how it does.

Think of it as an introspective experiment.

How are you rooted? How do you flow? 

I'll demonstrate the thought process by sharing my own version of what this means for me.

  1. I like worship music, spirituality, God AND Drake and sometimes dirty rap music. I'm rooted, but I flow.
  2. I'm African American AND white. I'm rooted, but I flow.
  3. I desire and love routine, but I crave adventure, travel and the unexpected. I'm rooted, but I flow.
  4. I'm conscious, yet I sometimes just want to step outside of my consciousness and do whatever I want. I'm rooted, but I flow.
  5. I want to be challenged, yet I also want to be left alone to perfect what's already in front of me. I'm rooted, but I flow.
  6. I want to think and feel in equal measure, yet I rarely do. I'm rooted, but I flow.

Those are just a few of my own personal examples.

Here are some other ones to consider that help explain it a bit more:

  • I want to be invited to the _________, but I don't want to leave the house. 
  • I'm lonely at home, but don't want anyone in my personal space.
  • I want recognition for a job well done, yet I don't want to be noticed.

These are all, to me, perfect examples of what it means to be rooted but flow. 

To me, the quote embodies the human experience of having some sort of said foundation, yet feeling like you also don't want it. The constant to and fro of being grounded while having no grounding at all is both exhilarating and rebellious all in one.

To be honest, I think this is exactly how it's supposed to be. I can't think of another way we would consistently be inspired or motivated to pursue a desired lifestyle or set of principles for our life without these paradoxes and opposites at work. 

It's like the floating flowers on the water. We know they had to come from somewhere, but they're no longer rooted. But in order to become beautiful and free-form enough to float and flow, they had to detach for a while.

This post is meant to make you think- about how YOU are rooted, yet flow. What are all the ways? And it doesn't have to be an hour-long introspective session to figure it out. Just think about a few ways over the next week and write them down.

Feel the parts this week that are more rooted and the ones that more flow. Pay attention to how each of them feels.  

Come back and share with me - I'd love to know. :-)


Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash