[Podcast Ep.10]: FINALLY! The Difference Between Confidence & Ego: A Message for Women
This year, I've coined a new term that Modernity will forever stand on: Conscious Confidence. But I need to develop it for us and help us understand it - otherwise it's just more meaningless alliteration.
What the heck does 'conscious confidence' even mean and why is it important?
In today's episode, I'm tackling this topic in Tamisha Ford style, so strap in. There's lots of teaching here that will change everything for you if you let it. The concepts are important and crucial to your confidence development as a woman in our modern society.
Without an understanding of conscious confidence, you end up with fabricated confidence; otherwise known as flat out ego. But the difference is difficult to decipher if we haven't learned it. They can, at times, look a lot alike.
The first thing we have to understand then, is the nature of the ego. And while millions of books and authors have touched on the subject, I'm going to condense it for you the best way I can describe it, so it's not overwhelming, then we'll apply it to conscious confidence.
The ego, by nature, separates. Examples are conflict - the person who has to win the fight; cancer cells that develop because one cell decides it no longer wants to be part of the organ it's supposed to be a part of.
These are metaphorical examples of how the mind also works.
"I'm over here; you're over there. Thus, I'm able to be on my own, and I don't need people's help."
In short, our egos are what entitle us - to act a certain way toward an individual, make a decision we justify to make, and compete with someone else; essentially be better than them.
Think about it - all of that behavior and attitude separates you from people. No one wants to be around someone who has set out to compete with them constantly, prove they're better OR justify an incredibly selfish decision.
However, we've all done this because it's an ongoing spiritual practice to not only notice, but allow the ego to submit.
[Super Soul Sessions story and example about asking for forgiveness].
Conscious Confidence: What It's Not
- It's NOT competing with other women
- It's NOT comparing with other women
- It's NOT just 'saying' you're confident where people can hear you all the time (hint; if you have to say it, you're probably not anyway - kind of like power)
- It's NOT manipulating
Conscious Confidence: What It Is
- It's conscious; discerning, quiet when it needs to be; awake; aware; listening; deciphering; inquiring
- It's aware of its presence without having to advertise it or be loud about it
- It knows when to speak and when to be silent
- It carries itself well, regardless of the perception projected onto it by others
- It only maintains that's in service to the whole; it doesn't sit in ego - it sees itself as part of the whole; holistic
- It doesn't need to contend; holds the assertive approach to conversation - "I matter, but you also matter."
So essentially we're saying that conscious confidence is: Confidence without ego for the purpose of service to the greater whole that is awake, present, and correctly discerns the power it needs to utilize in each moment.
Can you think of some other things conscious confidence would or wouldn't be? Please share your experiences with any of the above scenarios I've taught on today with this community in the comments, and I'll continue this in another episode!
Thank you for listening & applying this to your life,
Photography by Ming Nomchong