There's Strength in Peace: You Can Be a Warrior Without Fighting

There’s this messaging that pervades all avenues modern women encounter I’m consistently trying to teach against.

Magazines, tabloids, Instagram, social media, and even conversations with other women all lend to it.

That messaging is that we always have to be fighting against something, hustling to be successful, taking action, and making things happen for ourselves. That, to make a relationship work, we need to be having conflict & unhappiness because “that’s just how life is.”

While I’m a huge fan of forward progress, I’m not a fan of any language that causes us to think that somehow by our own relentless ambition, things happen for us. I don’t actually believe that in totality. I think there’s a path & gifts within already assigned - we just simply choose them by walking each day in the gifts & expressions we contain. Everything then, that should happen for us, does.

We don’t cause something to happen by what we do - we allow it to happen by what we choose.

There’s a difference between working hard, allowing the daily path to reveal itself, and striving, forcing, coercing, manipulating, and fighting for things to come to us that we desire.

Relationships are also no exception here. The moment we try to force someone to choose us, make a decision, or form a union, that’s the moment we lose them.

You can be a warrior without fighting. In anything. We actually have the ability to let peace be our driver of results.

Here’s what that can look like:

  • Stop incessantly worrying. Think about how much energy you’re actually extending to another person or situation to worry about things you can’t control. Is it worth it to deplete your energy for this?

  • Meditate. The single most popular piece of advice I give people who seem to have unrest, depression, anxiety, or can’t sit still or quiet their mind. One of the leading causes of stress in Western Culture is simply the addiction to a fear of silence. Figure out some way to get quiet - for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and work your way up from there. You will notice a significant difference in your peace levels.

  • Trust the process & pray. Not cliche if they work. And both do. This again, is about understanding there are things & people out of your control. The only thing you can control is your outlook and how you pray. By trusting that a process is happening, whether you see it in the 3D world or not, you will release some of the discomfort you feel with a situation.

  • Watch the unfolding. This is about watching as the pieces of the puzzle come together. Not as much about hustling. However, hustling has its place - I just want to be clear that the hustle itself isn’t what brings the results. It’s the intention behind the work you do that attaches to the outcomes, not the THING you do.

I know this might all seem cliche, so let’s try a different approach if you’re more of an innovative thinker and feeler.

  • Quiet Within. What’s the voice getting the least attention inside of you right now? What are you suppressing that wants to express? No one else knows this better than you. What messages are really loud that are shutting out the more discerning ones? “Messages” can be ANYTHING - texts, beliefs of others, conversations, opinions, something you read online, or your childhood conditioning.

  • Confront the Shadows. This is the opposite of the above, but it very well could be the same thing. In either case, what is hiding? What’s in the dark that needs light to breathe? What are you avoiding discussing or confronting? That’s the very thing that will free you and bring the liberation you want. The peace you need. The warrior can’t always be in battle with others - sometimes battle within is required too.

  • Pick Up Your Sword. Swords are traditionally associated with thoughts. So essentially, I’m urging you to pick up your thoughts, not a sharp tool to go into battle. Pick up your thoughts. Gather them. Don’t over-analyze them. Let them flow, and give them space to develop or formulate.

Often, we think being a warrior is about battle and being “on” all the time, when it’s sometimes MOST effective and peaceful to be the peaceful warrior instead. The one who waits. The one who prays. The one who observes. The one who fights with other means.

I have found there is great strength, conquest, and liberty in silent support, prayerful observation, and patient understanding.

You can be a warrior without fighting - for yourself or for anyone else. In fact, sometimes the best wars are won with no fighting at all.