5 Things It Will Take to Make Incredibly BOLD Moves for Your Own Growth
Boldness Loves Perspective...
For those who aren't super close to me, or unless you follow me on Instagram, you probably don't know that I've moved twice in the last 3 months.
Some of the reasons for those decisions will always remain personal to me, but I can tell you I haven't regretted a moment of it, because it has catapulted my growth in ways nothing else possibly could've.
Back in November, I moved to Austin to work on some projects, and just a few weeks ago, I moved BACK to Dallas - my home. I had the choice of staying in Austin and I opted out, even with all the wonderful things I love about that city, including some great friendships I both made and evolved while being there - in Austin, New Braunfels, and San Antonio, mind you.
But it just wasn't home, and I was unsettled there. I'm an intuitive empath, so I'm not someone who needs a year in a city OR in a relationship to know if it's going to produce fruit or not - if I stick around that long, there's something I see. And I've enhanced the ability to pivot quickly in life AND work, as a result of this strength I carry. I knew after about 3 weeks I wasn't staying in Austin, and I was already pretty clear on all the reasons why.
Telling you what I've learned about myself, the decision-making process, my evolving spirituality and what I believe, and a host of other things would have to be a completely separate post or podcast. Maybe I'll do that for you sometime.
The purpose of this post, in particular however, is to illuminate what it's going to take for YOU to make such bold moves as this and probably even more bold. Because believe you me - everyone in the world didn't support that move and still probably looks on it in judgment. But I don't live for them.
I live for me and for God and the co-creative process we're in these streets accomplishing together.
I don't make decisions based on the opinions of others. There was a time I would heavily consider the opinions of others in big life decisions, and I would usually end up living life like THEM or regretting it later.
That said, let's just go ahead & jump into the meat & bones of this article, because I need you to elevate your thinking in order to make the moves I know you've been contemplating & feeling stuck about.....
1. You've GOT to shut out other voices
Now, I'm not saying there's not a time AND place for wise counsel. Lord knows, sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees when we're too stuck in something. But the truth is - usually, by the time you SEEK outside counsel (or let's face it - the opinions of your friends), you're not actually feeling stuck - by that time, the only thing you're doing in all sincerity is seeking validation of a decision you already intuitively know needs to be made.
SO.....really, what I'm encouraging you to do with this first step is to STOP looking for validation of what your higher self is revealing to you. Is your family going to raise your children? Is your family going to have to come home to that partner every day? Do your friends have to work for your boss every day? Do your acquaintances understand you enough to say what's best for you? You better get real good at tuning in to what YOU can do with the wisdom allotment that has been given you and honor it.
Let me tell you something - "THEY" WILL ADJUST. They have to. As an adult, making adult decisions is a wonderful way to show you who's for you, too. I don't believe in surrounding ourselves with just "yes" men, but I DO believe it's possible to have conscious connections with people who support you and who are truly FOR YOU, not just there for what you agree on that's bad in the world. Support doesn't always mean those people agree with you, but you better make sure they're FOR you. Being supportive means you can agree to disagree and still have their support.
2. You better be comfortable being alone
Because making bold moves in your life, whether geographically or spiritually, will probably extract you from certain circles or environments. So you need to be a strong person who is able to spend an inordinate amount of time alone and be okay with it. Even if you don't end up having to do so, this is a really wonderful and advantageous thing to put into place in your life.
As a professed "social introvert" myself, I love being around people and am a warm person, but the truth is I'm a loner wolf and EXTREMELY independent. I spend an INCREDIBLE amount of time alone. Like hours and hours and hours and days by myself with no problem. And I'm almost NEVER bored. I'm always planning, working, writing, playing, scoping out, shopping, designing, cooking, or learning. I just greatly enjoy my own company. And while I somewhat love a routine of sorts, I'm more like an air sign than an earth sign sometimes in how I operate - I can just go driving with no real plan of where I'll end up. Or who I want to hang out with. Or where I want to eat. So I might end up driving (or parking) in random parking lots for an hour waiting for the decision to come to me or reveal itself. It's the craziest thing, but I like that whimsy intuition I sometimes have.
If you're NOT like me and maybe more extroverted, you probably won't have to plan to be alone with a bold move, because you're going to naturally gravitate to places where lots of people hang out. For someone like me, I go to those places when I need the interaction. Not otherwise. ;-)
So extroverts, maybe prep for a little less interaction than you're used to if you're looking at some sort of bold move in your life. Introverts, just be prepared to spend a lot MORE time with yourself than you're used to as you adjust to whatever or wherever IT is.
I actually spent WAY more time socially interacting in Austin than I do in Dallas, which is interesting. It definitely made me feel good that I had all these people gravitating toward me and wanting to hang out in my presence. Austin just has a very different vibe altogether. It was so nice to experience. I came away having met some down-to-earth really cool & honest people I could be myself with. That's irreplaceable. And no matter where I live, THOSE are the kinds of people I want in my life.
Learn to love yourself with all your heart & soul before and AS you make any bold moves of any kind. The self-love, self-forgiveness thing isn't always easy, but it's the thing that lets you look in the mirror and lets you receive the love others have to give you at the highest levels. You don't have to perfect it before you make moves - just have it as a priority.
3. Understand the purpose for the transition
Why are you making the decision you're making?
Moving to Austin for a few months for me, was about self-exploration, stepping out of my comfort zone, and doing something I had not done before to stretch my mentality about some things.
I have lived in Dallas for 20 years and left only one other time for 2 years and ended back up here then, too. But I understood the purpose of those moves each time.
What's funny is that, even months & years later, I see even MORE purpose in those years/months. It's so amazing to me that one bold move can expand your mind for years to follow - even if the experience was unexpected, disappointing, or otherwise slightly regretful.
Making moves with purpose will take you out of self-judgment and shame more often than not. You'll grow as an individual. You'll have new experiences.
4. Figure out what you value most
This has been a pivotal lesson for me - both in my career & work as well as in relationships.
In business, there is a term we use - a unique selling proposition (USP), unique business proposition, or unique selling point. All the same thing. It basically means what do you, as a brand or company, "propose" to the market that is distinct? Pun intended. ;-) What is it that sets you outside of your competition and, in fact, makes them irrelevant?
Examples of this are Cirque de Soleil or Virgin Airlines. Circuses and airlines aren't new. But the way Virgin and Cirque de Soleil do them IS.
If you need to make bold moves of some kind, you need to figure out what it is you value and capitalize on THAT much more than what's comfortable or "I'm doing it this way because it's what everyone else is doing." That's not going to be good enough for you anymore - you've outgrown it if you're even considering it.
Most of the time, our ego can put us in suspension fighting something our TRUE self knows has been over for a while.
Cirque de Soleil and Virgin America could care less about what everyone else is doing - they're in their own lane because they have different values. They discovered what those values were, decided to go with it regardless of what others might've said or what the market "norms" were, and they became billion dollar enterprises.
If you're not getting what you VALUE in your place of work, you don't feel VALUED in your relationship, or you don't feel VALUABLE to the entities you're surrounded by, it's time to make another proposition. Because while there will always be people who love walking around the standard dirty circus grounds with peanuts and hay and food all over the floor while they watch animals (and smell them and everything else there is to smell inside), there's just as many who want to play dress up to go see animals perform tricks, pay $50 a ticket to get in, and hear amazing music in an air-conditioned facility.
Same industry. Completely different values.
5. Have some sort of workable plan
The type of bold move you're considering will largely impact this portion of the process. So I can't give you cookie cutter planning steps.
However, in general there are a few things you can consider or ask that probably apply to MOST situations:
- Are there any financial impacts to this bold move? If so, what are they? If not right now, could there be anything unforeseen that could happen, worst-case scenario? Make a list.
- You may not need to consider the opinions of others since this is YOUR life, BUT even so, who does the bold move affect and how? Make a pros & cons list of how what you're considering will affect you or anyone involved. I love doing this when I'm making decisions.
- If, for some reason, the bold move backfires or doesn't work out, what's the absolute WORST that can happen? Just a word of wisdom - this is almost never as horrible as we initially think when we sit down & choose to take a positive outlook. This is all about your mindset - if you're like me, I come from a place of yes and an absolute positive mentality in all things as much as I can. Even if something would seem awful to others, I almost always see a positive in it and have a work-it-out mental space. You also have to consider short-term vs. long-term. Just because the worst might could happen in the short-term, what's the long-term positives to it, if it does?
A workable plan is just that - workable. I'm trying to get you to be more open to options. My Mom taught me something very valuable at an early age, but specifically around my teen years where she started trying to ween me off of leaning on her for every decision. She would say, "Tamisha - there's ALWAYS options. There's almost never ONE way to do something. And you need to learn to look at all of them." So I do that now. Some of them may not be optimal, but they're there. And some may be more expensive in the short-term but have a HIGH return in the long-term.
You don't have to be an over-analyzer to understand options - just be open to them. And for many people, that's the hard part.
In the words of Rumi....
What you seek is seeking you.
Now go get it.
Photo by Oladimeji Odunsi