A Plea To The Interwebs: Please Stop Writing/Reading Articles That Belittle The Pursuit of Confidence


Why are there 500 articles online making me wrong for wanting to feel more confident, when I feel that's most what I need?

I don't know WHAT to pursue....

She's not wrong for pursuing confidence. 

Maybe that's most what she needs.

Do you actually believe what you're writing, or is it being written ONLY for the purpose of being labeled as "different"? 

Do you actually believe that what you're proposing is "better" than pursuing confidence, or is that just what someone else wrote and you're following suit?

Confidence is a beautiful, gorgeous element of self-hood that isn't only sexy to pursue - it's necessary to pursue. 

ARE you aware that the lifeblood of substantial and sustainable leadership is bred from an internal confidence in the self prior to leading others?

Why does it bother you that someone needs this? Better yet - could it be possible you're bothered by their pursuit of confidence because you yourself aren't quite brave enough to go there yet? 

Something else might be better to pursue right now, but it depends on her life stage. Be careful advising that a blanket solution is "better" - maybe for where she's at right now, confidence is exactly what she needs most. Otherwise, maybe it's not and your article could be accurate, but this distinction should be articulated.

The biggest assumption is that confidence is external. This belief is what creates these types of articles with these threads of admonishment. But the thing is - confidence is extremely INTERNAL and thus, usually has roots in other things. So if she's pursuing confidence, let her go after it - at least she's digging. Self-expression will take care of projecting the outer layer of the inner work she's doing. Leave her to it.

Last, but not least, if we want the next generation of girls to have a core, robust understanding of themselves, the last thing they need to be reading online is "A Million Things Better To Pursue Than Confidence". Girls and young women don't need mixed messages. Let's let them go after the depths of themselves without making it seem like it's wrong or invalid to desire. We do that, and we erase the work of the entire last 2 years in the feminine culture.


The Advocate


Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash